>Channeling Helene Dujardin, kind of

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Today is going to be a day of epic baking (and cooking!) proportions: German-inspired macarons (that really aren’t all that German), German chocolate cupcakes, sauerkraut, bratwurst, bretzeln and kartoffelklosse – seriously good eats.  Thom’s running around the house in his German football jersey, me in my Oktoberfest apron, and we have decided that every time the German’s play we’re going to have a huge German feast.  My Oma would be so proud.

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I’ve been putting off making macarons for quite some time because, well, you know.  Every week, for the past month, I’ve been setting out new eggs to achieve room temperature and I always wind up using them for some other baking-related project.  Which, in all honesty, is just me subconsciously avoiding the whole macaron battle.

I walked into the kitchen this morning and the eggs, which had reached room temperature 2 days ago, were staring at me, almost as if they were begging me to use them in something delicious.  I buckled and decided it was time to face my fear: I hate failing, and making macarons hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park.  But, as Helene Dujardin said, it takes a lot of time and practice, and even the most experienced macaron makers flop at times.  Well, it also takes lots of money, you see.  Because I’ve spent $75+ on macaron ingredients since I’ve started making them, and they have only turned out once.  And I don’t like wasting money.  Especially not when I’m a poor college student.

But I’m not a poor college student.  I just find it rather humorous when college kids use that as an excuse; you can’t complain about eating dry cereal and ramen for dinner every night when you’re wearing a $200 pair of jeans.  Are Levis not good enough to wear to class?  Because I’ve found that Levis make my butt look good.  Really good.  Better than the $200 pair of J Brands Thom got me for Christmas.  Wewh, I feel better.

I started off the whole process on the wrong foot; using the paddle attachment to mix the meringue instead of the whisk.  By the time I realized my mistake, the meringue had been mixing for a good 5 minutes, and any longer would lessen the chances of macaron success.  But, it was either throw in the towel or cross my fingers, so I crossed my fingers and whisked the meringue until the stiff-peaks formed.

Amazing that egg whites and granulated sugar, when whisked to the extreme, form that thick, glossy meringue, eh?  I’m in awe every time.  Macarons really aren’t that difficult to make, it’s just that there is something so funky and particular about their process that makes perfection damn near impossible for macaron beginners, like myself.  I’ve got to say, prior to entering the oven, they didn’t look too shabby and I was actually very, very hopeful that they’d turn out despite my mistake.

The timer went off and.. they were a total flop.  But it’s ok, because I knew exactly what I did wrong.  Maybe I should have channeled Helene Dujardin while listening to Yann Tiersen.  Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do next time.  And I will be sure to use the whisk attachment, not the paddle.  See, it’s all a learning experience.  I can try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, until their little feet are perfectly aligned with their bodies.

WAAHHH, I’m going to use this pent-up frustration on the lady at Williams-Sonoma who sold me those awful decorating pens.  She had better think twice before telling me I’m not allowed to return them.  I am a force not to be reckoned with today.  Somebody call and warn her.