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I woke up at 6 in the AM (that was actually when I started constructing this post), and spent the better part of my morning searching (blindly) around our 900 sq. ft. flat looking for my seeing eyes. There were only so many places they could have been, and I checked each and every one of them. If Thom had been awake, he would have known, but I couldn’t bring myself to wake him at 6am.
Before heading off to the DMV I decided to search the bedroom, in which case I turned on the light and briefly woke Thom. I tried explaining that I was just looking for my glasses; I’d be done soon, but he grumbled and groaned and then pointed to the dressing room. I asked what? And he murmured, they’re on the ledge, in a robot voice. What do you know, they were on the freaking ledge. It never fails: every time I lose misplace my glasses, Thom knows where they are.
I recently returned from workation on the Cape, and let me tell you, although I enjoyed the time away, I did not enjoy the bugs or the humidity, the fact that people from MA drive like maniacs and I especially did not enjoy the fact that my morning Hello! was, in most cases, ignored. Assholes.
What I thought was going to be a vacation chock-full of nannying, drunk people and good food, actually turned out to be filled with all of that, and (drum roll please) baking!!!!!! I had to be resourceful though, folks. Really resourceful. Few ingredients and limited utensils were an obstacle, but one that I overcame with the help of a wine bottle and a make-shift tart pan.
The only ingredients in the rental house were flour, sugar, butter, eggs and vanilla. We had tons of berries on hand, so I decided a pie was really the only thing within the realm of possibility. However, there was no rolling pin to roll the dough for the crust, so I roamed the house, desperately searching for anything cylindrical and sturdy; shampoo bottle? Too flimsy. Drinking glass? Too short. Child’s toy? Gross. Wine bottle? That’ll do it!
The pie was less than perfect looking, but I was OK with it considering the fact I didn’t have an actual rolling pin. According to the recipient of the pie, it was gone before she even got a chance to dig into it, so I’m going to go ahead and assume it was tasty.
I decided to take on pie baking again, partly to see if I could make a better pie with my limited resources, and mostly because I was dying to bake something; anything. After I started making the dough I realized the pie plate had disappeared, leaving me to be even more resourceful than the first time: I made sweet tarts in a cupcake pan.
These turned out better than the pie, for some odd reason. The crust was perfect; flaky yet moist, and had a very distinct butter flavor. They were gobbled up within a few hours so, again, I’m going to assume based solely on that fact, they weren’t too awful tasting.
I only baked 2 days of my entire stay, and knew my kitchen was going to be in for it when I got home. I woke up yesterday morning and immediately got to work with my
favorite appliance
. I had decided the night before that I was going to make cupcakes, cookies, and some sort of tart for Thom, since I had never made them for him before.
I searched the cupboards and found an unopened jar of marshmallow fluff. I really wanted to make s’mores cupcakes, but realized that would require a trip to the grocery (and I didn’t feel like putting on pants). I decided to make vegan dark chocolate cupcakes with marshmallow frosting, and then garnish them with sprinkles or fruit. I always prefer baking vegan cupcakes over non-vegan ones, not because I can eat them, but because they always come out moist and, I’m going to say it, perfect.
The aroma from the cupcake batter got me as soon as I added the dark cocoa: I was going to lick the whisk at the end of the mixing process. I never lick the whisk. But damnit, I rested the whisk in the bowl and it toppled onto the floor. I contemplated picking it up and licking it (uh, 5 second rule), but realized that would probably result in me barfing into the kitchen sink, on a heaping pile of dishes. Which I guess I could have left for Thom to clean, right?
The cupcakes turned out exactly as I had hoped, the icing, not even close. It was entirely too runny for my liking, and there is only so much confectioner’s sugar you can add until the icing becomes too sweet. So, I decided to throw in my piping bag and use a spatula to smear the cupcakes (generously) with icing. Next time I’ll use less butter, and omit the agave, and hope that’ll aid in thickening the icing.
I wish you could taste this cupcake. Saying it tastes amazing doesn’t do it justice. It tastes like an explosion of chocolatey goodness in your mouth; rich, moist and flavorful. I have deemed this recipe my go-to chocolate cupcake recipe, and you should too. I’ve been awfully demanding of that lately, haven’t I?
Vegan dark chocolate cupcakes
1 c. almond milk (or any other milk substitute)
1 1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar
1/3 c. canola oil
1/2 c. granulated sugar
2 TBS agave nectar
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 c. cocoa powder
1 1/4 c. unbleached flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
The process:
– Combine milk and vinegar, allow to sit for 5 minutes
– Add oil, sugar, agave and vanilla – whisk well
– Add cocoa, flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt – whisk well
– Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full
Bake at 350 for 18-22 minutes (huge gap, I know – just monitor them after 18 minutes)
Marshmallow frosting
2 TBS butter
1 TBS agave nectar
1 1/2 c. marshmallow fluff
1/2 tsp vanilla
1-2 c. confectioner’s sugar (add until icing is no longer runny)
..and a dash of salt
Mixing:
– Combine all ingredients and whisk the hell out of them – or, do yourself a favor and use an electric or stand mixer.
I have made upwards of 100 batches of chocolate chip cookies since I started baking, and these are, by far, the greatest chocolate chip cookies I have ever made. I used organic brown sugar, which is super moist in comparison to your average brown sugar, so I’m thinking that’s what did the trick.
Best ever chocolate chip cookie recipe
3/4 c. butter, at room temperature
1 1/4 c. organic brown sugar
1/2 c. granulated sugar
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 egg + 1 egg yolk, at room temperature
3-4 c. flour (or until dough is firm)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 c. chocolate chips (more or less, as desired)
Mixing bowl:
– Whisk butter for 1 minute, then add eggs
– Add vanilla and sugar – whisk well
– Add baking soda, baking powder and salt – whisk well
– Incorporate flour 1/2 c. at a time – mix with wooden spatula
– Add chocolate chips
**Disclaimer** do not refrigerate dough in the mixing bowl – dough should be firm enough to roll onto baking sheet immediately
Baking:
– Line baking sheet with parchment paper and use a
cookie scoop
(or your hands) to form balls
– Press the balls down until they are flat – don’t press too hard, just give them a nice, firm squish
– Place
baking sheet
with cookie dough in the refrigerator and chill the dough for at least 5 minutes prior to going into the oven (this will help them to retain their shape)
Bake at 350 for 12-14 minutes (13 minutes worked perfect for me)
I am sorry. I hate catch-up posts, and this is already picture/recipe overload, but I promise I only have one more. And it’s for pie! A pie crust that is better than your grandma’s, I bet.
I steered clear of pies until a few months ago. I don’t know why, because I’ve come to find I’m a damn good pie architect. Is that the right word? Maybe pie artist is a better title. Either way, I like to think I’m fairly decent at constructing pies. And this recipe could definitely give your granny’s a run for her money.
Flaky pie crust
1/2 c. butter
1/2 c. non-hydrogenated shortening
1/4 tsp salt
3 c. flour
6 TBS water (or more if dough is too tough)
Mixing/preparation:
– Cut flour and salt into butter and shortening (if you have a pastry cutter
, use that)
– Add water 1 or 2 TBS of water at a time and combine until mixture turns to dough
– Roll into ball, cover in plastic and place in fridge for 90 minutes
Bake at 400 for 40-50 minutes, with filling and covered with foil for the first half in the oven
Pie filling
I don’t have a recipe for this, but I typically cook down fresh fruit and add a generous amount of sugar and 2 TBS of corn starch (mixed with a small amount of water so that clumps do not form) while the mixture is still on the stove. Once you’re finished, refrigerate for an hour or so.
Trust me, I hate that more than you do; jamming posts is no fun, especially since I have to leave out little bits and pieces from my day just to squeeze in all of the major details. I think tomorrow I’ll bake a cake. I rarely ever make cakes, but I am in the mood for something light and fluffy – it’ll be chocolate-something, I just don’t know what. And I’ll probably bake more cookies, because I’ve already given away 90% of the batch I baked yesterday.
I caught Cedric red handed. Err, chocolate nosed? Clearly I need to teach him how to eat like a civilized gnome being, but until then I think I’ll let him sport that chocolate nose, at least for a few more days.
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