>Crème de menthe

>

I went to my first real dermatology appointment today. I stood in my skivvies while the doctor and her assistant looked over my body. Her assistant kept telling me, “you have pretty figure,” “very nice tummy”. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any more awkward, she pulled down the back of my underwear and inspected my rear. Something tells me she wasn’t just looking for moles.

Out of all of the irregular (to me) moles on my body, doc only found one worth removing. I received a lidocaine injection and then she reached for some tool that looked strikingly similar to a ballpoint pin. She must have noticed my suspicion because she tried to distract me by asking things like, what are you studying? What do you want to do after school? And in the midst of answering question number 2, I noticed her doing something to my leg and blurted out WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You have to tell me when you’re starting! To which she replied, I’m almost finished, I just have to put in your stitch.

Seriously? Seriously. I worried myself sick about this procedure and, just like doc said, the shot was the worst part of it all. If you have an unusual mole on your body, go get it checked. And even if you don’t, make sure you get a full-body scan every year. A way to rationalize? A shot and a stitch are way better than the alternative.

Crème de menthe cupcakes

1 c. non-dairy milk
1 1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar
2 eggs, room temperature
1/4 c. oil
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2/3 c. agave nectar
1 c. cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 c. unbleached flour
1/2 c. Andes mints, chopped

(This cake is dense and spongey – similar to the texture of a marshmallow. Feel free to use any chocolate cake if dense + spongey isn’t your cup of tea.)

• Combine milk and vinegar, allow to sit for 5 minutes
• Add oil, eggs, vanilla and agave – whisk well
• Sift in cocoa powder
• Add baking soda, baking powder and salt
• Add flour, 1/4 c. at a time

Baking:

• Fill cupcake tins 3/4 full
• Lightly sprinkle with Andes mints

Bake at 350 for 16-18 minutes

                                        

Mint frosting

3 egg whites
3/4 c. cane sugar
2/3 c. confectioner’s sugar
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp agave nectar
1/4 tsp peppermint extract
3 drops green food coloring, optional

• In a heat-proof bowl over boiling water, stir egg whites and granulated sugar until the mixture becomes warm and sugar has dissolved (4-5 minutes)
• Remove from heat and transfer to electric mixer (I used my stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment) – mix on medium speed for 3 minutes
• Add cream of tartar and confectioner’s sugar – mix on high speed for 3 minutes
• Add agave, mint extract and food coloring – continue mixing on high speed until icing forms stiff peaks

                                        

You know when you’re in the mood to bake, and you realize your recently-pulled-from-the-fridge eggs are going to take hours to reach room temperature? What if I told you I found a 30 minute solution to that problem? Well, I did, and it’s called incubating. Yes, with your body heat. I discovered this trick a while back, when I was baking 3 or 4 times a day, unplanned. I’d nestle the eggs between my hands, behind my knees (while sitting, obviously), on my belly, etc. for 20-30 minutes. Do I sound crazy yet?

Don’t bother asking your love interest to ‘sit’ on your eggs for you, because you’ll most likely get this response: sit on eggs, what the fuck do I look like? And don’t be alarmed if, when you arrive home, after he tried making you feel like a mother hen, he’s got the eggs wrapped up in his shirt, nestled against his warm belly.